Wednesday, August 04, 2010

How Did She Get Inside My Head?

From Robin of Berkeley:
The saddest thing for me about the political differences is a sense of loss. Jon and I used to see eye-to-eye on almost everything, both political and religious.

We'd spend hours bonding over like-minded issues. Now we can't go anywhere near politics without hard feelings. Occasionally a political topic will come up (always my doing, even though I promise myself to keep a wrap on it). The conversation never ends well.
Don't underestimate the stress that political change can bring to a Boomer relationship.  Perhaps most poignantly:
I know some liberal/conservative couples who are making it just fine. But there's one big difference: they were already political adversaries when they got together.   

It's one thing to enter a relationship with all your cards on the table. It's another thing to change.

I have unintentionally broken an unwritten rule integral to most relationships: Thou Shalt Not Change. That rule about consistency is no small matter. Partners feel safe and secure by counting on the other person's predictability.

Such a sea change like a political conversion can feel like a betrayal. It's not quite on the same level as an affair, but it still can erode trust. One person has transformed into someone new and unfamiliar.
Sadly, I have introduced a major stress into a working, caring relationship.  I'm not sure that it will survive.  But, the alternative, to pretend that it hasn't changed, is not possible.

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