Saturday, February 19, 2005

GRUMPY OLD MEN

Those who are not readers of the Cleveland area dead-tree monopoly The Plain Dealer may not not to read this post. It is a long-overdue response to a columnist with a grievance against conservatives, which appeared Wednesday, November 10, 2004.
Curmudgeons are a staple of Old Media. Their function is to observe American society, and comment on it acerbically, grumpily lamenting the passing of the “Good Old Days”. Mostly, they're harmless – their function seems to be related to upholding the endangered standards of a society fast becoming decadent.
Curmudgeons have changed. Today's Grumpy Old Men pine for the Sixties. According to Dick Feagler, who writes editorials for Cleveland's Plain Dealer (a Dead Tree press), liberals are the ones that uphold REAL conservative values. And conservatives are, to use the kids' word, HATERS.
For example:
  • Did you know that all conservatives hate gays? Apparently I didn't get the memo, but Feagler insists that we have to call them nasty names to prove that. I'm not inclined to call anyone names, but if Feagler says so, I guess I'm going to have to start. The trouble is, I like the gays I know.
  • Did you know that Karl Rove's life ambition is to control women's uteruses (uterii?). Apparently, the only way women can show that they are in charge of their own lives is to bravely scrape out any developing ba- I mean, tissue. The main issue I have with this is that the decision to abort is often not a bold strike for independence, but the sad result of pressure. The under-18 crowd are dragged into clinics by furious parents. Boyfriends grudgingly thrust their share of the cash at the pregnant woman, and callously order, “Get rid of it.” Colleges subtly steer the no-baby choice by having no family housing options available.
  • No sensible conservative is against the First Amendment, but that right is used selectively.
    Good use: trashing Christian religions, teaching students about Islam (but only mention the positive parts), Native American religions, Paganism, and atheism, spewing the F*** word with abandon, asserting that the USA is the epitome of all that is evil and putrid, insisting that the troops are supported (but, don't forget, they're all psychopathic baby-killers and rapists), teaching grade-schoolers in graphic detail of masturbation, gay sex, and oral intercourse.

    Bad use: speaking well of Christianity or Judaism, pointing out the good aspects of America, actually supporting soldiers, sailors, and marines, suggesting that sexual activity before marriage is not necessarily good, teaching anybody (adolescent or adult) about the graphic details of abortion.

  • “If illegal immigrants can find a good minimum-wage job, why can't Americans?” I'm not sure what Dick has against working for a living. I'm sorry to be the one that tells him, there's nothing in the Constitution that forbids employers to refuse to hire the poorly educated, those with bad job histories, or a prison record. In fact, it was a reputed liberal (Clinton) who was responsible for forcing many welfare recipients to find jobs. And, what a surprise! Many of them did. That gave them something – a job history. Some of them improved their lives – some didn't. But welfare reform gave the choice to THEM.
  • Dick seems to enjoy a kind of amorphous, hazy impression of the Bible. And, for those who actually READ the Bible, some of the passages can be difficult to understand, and even lead to multiple viewpoints. However, other passages are clear and straight-forward. Jesus was not just a really nice guy who loved everybody. He did save the woman who committed adultery from a grisly death. But he also then said, “Go, and sin no more”. Not “Hey, B****, get your groove on.” Yes, the Bible does say “do not kill”. But self-defense, of self or of a nation, is clearly shown to be a reasonable use of force.
  • Dick, I really can't figure out your implication about Jews and the conservatives. We conservatives are not the ones on college campuses who passively stand by and watch anti-Semites scream at Jews? See Front Page magazine for examples of leftist anti-semitism. Who, conservatives or liberals, consistently supports the right of Jews to the homeland of Israel?
  • What's so awful about not wanting our children's ears assaulted by hearing about “ho's” and “bitches”? How does hearing sexist insults promote women's status? What do liberals have against the words “ladies” and “girls”? Is it better to call her a “ho”? I prefer my children to develop their vocabularies by finding out alternative ways to insult their friends and enemies. If the object of your insult needs to consult a dictionary to determine whether or not to whip yo' butt, you may escape injury. Or, at least you'll have the dubious comfort of being thrashed by a more knowledgeable thug.
  • And while we're at the subject of sexual politics, what's so terrible about not wanting to see every young women's butt tattoo framed by their exposed thong? It's funny, women agree that men can only think about one thing, then they dress in such a way as to guarantee that every erogenous zone is prominently on display in public. Do you think that improves the chances men will focus on their brains? If you do, you rate men's concentration powers more highly than I. Lest you accuse me of sexism, I also don't want to know the color of passing young men's Fruit of the Looms.

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