I'll admit it. I watched the first episode of the simple life. It was mind-boggling stupid, but I couldn't take my eyes off it. I kept on watching to see just how horrible the next faux pas would be.

I do have a message for Paris and Nicole:

Dear Paris & Nicole,

Like many Americans, I watched your antics on the farm. I have one small piece of advice for you.

Remember this: you can't help being stupid, but lazy is under your control. You may never be able to win the Nobel, but you can aspire to the noble task of WORKING HARD. It isn't funny to goof off, and whine about how hard work is. We know it's hard, the rest of us do it.

Think about the impact of your actions on others. Do you think that your comments about their home were going to hurt them? After all, they did give you hospitality - they housed you, fed you, and tried to include you in the activities of their lives. Laughing about the provinciality of your hosts was bad manners.

The spilled milk episode - what were you thinking? You wasted that farmer's day, goofed off and weren't finished when you should have been (yes, it WAS your fault - the milk fight was unecessary), and, to make matters worse, didn't have the guts to own up to your incompetence. You failed to observe basic hygiene. You diluted the milk, which was dishonest. He basically had to throw away a day's milking, because he couldn't honestly say that the milk was good.

Laying around on the couch dozing - do you honestly believe that employers pay people to lounge around? Again, it's dishonest. You owed him your work, and you tried to avoid it whenever possible.

I notice that you had no trouble eating the chicken that you couldn't pluck because it would make you sick. That's what most of us call hypocrisy.

This show is nothing like "Green Acres". On that show, although incompetent, Eva Gabor made a strong effort to do the job she had taken on. She may not have been a good farmer, but she knew how to work.


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