Finally, Some Time to Reflect

It's Thursday along The Great Lakes shoreline.

There is a 74% chance of rain. The temperature is holding at 40 degrees. The barometric pressure is stable, so, at least, my joints are not screaming out in pain.

I've been up since before 5 am. I go to bed earlier than my husband (I live the hours of an old-time farmer), so there was the usual detritus of the late-night spouse to clear up before I started tackling the day.

This time alone is one of the LEAST stressful parts of my day. It occurs before the phone gets my attention, the seemingly endless task list takes control of my actions, and I have to begin putting out a lot of figurative fires.

Our relative is still in the hospital, waiting for some tests and medical stabilization. He is MUCH improved in body and mind. After we get some updates today, we can start discussing his next steps, and where he might be able to go to complete healing, for now.

Other than a few dark hours of worry, I wasn't concerned he was immediately terminal. He appears to be recovering enough to eventually be able to resume some activities, including some PT for strength and mobility after a prolonged recuperation from a badly infected leg.

Of course, in one sense, he IS terminal.

We all are. Few of us can identify the day it will hit, but the eventual end is inevitable.

He has been blessed. He led a full life, was able to earn sufficient money to enable him to take a medical retirement early, when his condition made continued work impossible.

He has two sisters who visit regularly. His physical needs are taken care of, and he is not often in pain.

The recent difficulties were, in addition to pain and reduced mobility, hard on his ease of mind and ability to think clearly. In the last week, he was unable to clearly communicate. Both difficulties speaking, and holding a clear thought long enough to express it.  The frustration level was high.

With rest and hydration, and IV antibiotics, the fog is lifting. He still struggles for words at times, but there is clearly progress being made.

Yesterday, he underwent an MRI to see if there might be some physical cause for his problems in speech and communication other than his usual medical condition.

I've been thinking a lot about caretaking the aging. Even if they are not living at home, there is a tremendous amount of running around that accompanies the process. And, that frantic activity is on the family/friends, for the most part.

For the next few years, at least, those activities have been, and will continue to be, a major part of my life. Both my husband and I are the eldest in our families, and the younger ones have, generally, more serious medical conditions affecting them.

I'm 74. My husband is 77.

And, we are the 'healthy ones'.

That's a REALLY scary thought.

On the positive side, we do have some savings. We can afford to meet our bills. Our medical conditions aren't all that serious, and have improved over the last year. 

My bionic knee is feeling great since my last round of PT started. No more dot-and-go-lame. I walk evenly and smoothly. Still need a railing or cane when going up stairways, but managing better over time.

I have, as a consequence, more energy. That's a blessing, as I also have more demands on that energy.

So, I'm cautiously hopeful that some aspects of my life may be returning to My New Normal.